Who are you and why – englisch

Castiel saved himself in his refuge. Dean had looked him directly in the eyes. It was as if the other had touched him. A strange feeling of warmth and connection overcame him. There it was again! …Feelings…?!

It was not the first time he had contact with his father’s creation. But more than pity never crossed him. Father had often punished his creation, posed challenges, and imposed severe trials on them. But the last contact was more than 2.000 years ago, when Castiel witnessed the execution of Jesus.

After that, he no longer felt the need to go among the people. He preferred to watch them from afar.

But after freeing the soul of the demon hunter from hell, it was now his job to stay by the hunter’s side to prevent further seals from being broken. At the side of a man whose soul he had touched and… whose soul had touched him. For the first time in his long life, he felt something like a deep bond. A kind of loyalty that he otherwise only showed to his father and his brothers.

Father had once commanded them to kneel before his creation and worship them. Had commanded them to serve men.

But 2008 years ago, he broke this law himself and withdrew completely from the life of his creation. He left the people to themselves. And what did they make of it? They turned against their God and Creator, turned to evil. Castiel interrupted this line of thought. He didn’t want to sound as bitter as his brother Michael.

After the crucifixion of Jesus, Gabriel had once again tried to make contact with the people. As far as Castiel could remember, it was a man named Mohammed at the time. He preferred, however, to wage war against the chosen people. In the end, the archangels also withdrew from the affairs of the people.

Mary, the mother of Jesus, had shown herself to extraordinary women and children a few more times, giving them advice and comfort.

But as far as Castiel knew, Father had completely withdrawn. For more than 2.000 years, no one had seen him, not in the Throne Room, not in the Garden of Eden.

Castiel shook his head as if to shake off all the negative thoughts.

S:       „What it could have been?“

D:       „I was not groped by an angel!“

S:       „Why would this CASTIEL lie to you?“

D:       „Maybe he’s some kind of a demon. Demons lie.“

S:       „A demon, who’s immune to salt, devils trap and Rubys knife? Dean, Lilith is scared oft hat thing!“

D:       „Don’t you think, if angels were real, that some hunter somewhere would have seen one, at some point, ever?“

S:       „Yeah, you just did Dean!“

D:       „So, that‘s the point. We don’t know for sure. So, I’m not gonna believe that this thing is a freakin‘ ANGEL OF THE LORD bacause it said so.“

B:       „You two chuckleheads wanna keep aren’t you in religion? You wanna come take a look at this!“

Bobby turned a big lexicon so that Sam and Dean could look at the picture and the text. Dean instinctively grabbed the spot with the scarred handprint on his shoulder.

B:       „An angel can snap a soul from the pit!“

D:       „What else can do it?“

B:       „Nothing“

S:       „Dean. This is good news. It’s not another round of demon crap. Maybe you are saved by one of the good guys:“

D:       „Okay. When there are angels, then what? There’s a God?

B:       „This point, Vegas money‘s on, yeah.“

D:       „I don’t know guys.“

S:       „This become less about faith and more about proof!“

D:       „Proof? There’s a god out there that gives a crap about me personally. I’m sorry. I’m not byin‘ it!“

S:       „Why not?‘

D:       „Why me? Why do I deserve to get saved? I‘m just a regular guy!“

S:       „Aparently you are a regular guy who’s important to the man upstairs.“

D:       „But, that creeps me out!“

Dean took a deep breath and shook his head.

D:       „Fine. What do we know about angels?“

Bobby placed a stack of books with a thump on the table.

Again and again Castiels words echoed through his head. „Because God commanded it. Because we have work for you!“

He was saved because they had work for him. He should do something for them. He wasn’t saved because he was worth it. And he knew that. He was afraid not to know what the angels wanted, what he should do for them. Was he, like Castiel, just a soldier on behalf of Heaven, or should he just do their dirty work?

Castiel breathed deeply. He could read every thought and doubt in Dean’s face, each of his thoughts literally shouting „Answer me!“ But Castiel waited. It wasn’t time to talk to Dean. Besides, he was not alone.

Castiel felt the strange need to take Dean in his arms, to tell him,‘ „Everything will be good!“ This feeling was not unpleasant to him, he just thought it was inappropriate and shook his head. As if it could shake off the feeling.

Instead, something completely different happened. There was a realisation in Dean’s face. „It’s not another round of demon crap. But – it’s another round of crap at all!“ he whispered.

Castiel shook his head again. Why did the elder Winchester doubt?

It was obvious: he didn’t want to be saved, he didn’t want another round on Earth. He didn’t want to hold his head again, he didn’t want to be Sammy’s savior again.

He wanted peace and quiet.  But he didn’t have that in hell either. He was tormented and he tortured himself and he knew why and for what. But here and now, back on Earth, he didn’t know why or for what.

Castiel stopped braething. Could he see him? Could he –feel him? Castiel did not move a single millimeter. But he couldn’t resist whispering: „I‘m always with you!“

Dean swallowed. He had not interrogated himself. Castiel was here. But why didn’t he show up? „Later!“ breathed Castiel.

Bobby shouted from next door, „It’s all right, Dean?“

Dean looked over at Bobby and just nodded.

Castiel quickly withdrew. Sam just came in to the door, without a cake! Dean got angry. „What about my cake? You won’t forget that!“

Sam looked to the ground. „I saw Ruby.“

Dean shook his head. „Not another round of demon crap, you told me!?“

Sam shook his head. ‚I didn’t call her. She came to me.“

D:       „What did she say?“

S:       „They are angels. They smight first and ask questions later. All she know is, they scared the holy hell out of her. She’s a demon and they don’t care, if she was helpful to us.“

D:       „Helpful? Sending me to hell?“

S:       „Helpful. Because it was Lilith who sent you to hell, not Ruby“

D:       „So you trust her?“

S:       „Don’t know.“

Castiel was back in heaven, sitting in his armchair. Demon hunters died all over the world. He didn’t know why. He tried to remember whether that indicated another seal, but he didn’t get behind it. He was on his way to the divine library when Eloy ran over him.

E:       „Hey warrior, shouldn’t you be on the battlefield?“

C:       „Sure. I just don’t know which one!“

E:       „Lilith is breaking another seal.“

C:       „Lilith? Oh no. I should have known that it is she. It is not the Winchester brothers who break the seals, but Lilith. But why should I stay with the older brother?“

E:       „Because only he can finish it. You have to support him in his fight against Lilith.“

Eloy sighed.

E:       „And you have to make it clear to the younger one that Michael won’t flinch for long when he finds out that he’s doing things together with the demon Ruby.“

C:       „What does he have to do with that demon?“

E:       „She gives him her blood. He thinks it makes him stronger. Finish it Castiel!“

C:       „Why?“

E:       „Remember our history. Remember the prophecy. Remember the history of Michael and Lucifer!“

Castiel nodded.

Eloy was gone.  He  has always been a good guide. But Castiel broke his head over the question how he was supposed to finish it.

In the library he searched for the book of the seven seals and found it relatively quickly. Here he also found the reference to the other seals. He had to search for it in the revelations.

But this one… what was he dealing with?

U:       „Have heard, you could need a little help.“

C:       „Oh yes?“

U:       „I’m just coming from Eloy.“

C:       „And what? The raise of the witnesses. another seal!?“

U:       „It’s broken. It’s too late.‘

C:       „Do we know beforehand where Lilith will strike next?“

U:       „No. Not directly.“

C:       „Is this a little more concrete?“

(Robert Wisdom as Uriel)

U:       „There are a total of 600 possible seals. Lilith has to break only 66 of them.

          Each is already monitored by an angel. However, there is no guarantee that we will know in good time.“

C:       „But how does Lilith overcome the Guardian?“

U:       „She kills him.“

C:       „How?“

U:       „We don’t know.“

C:       „That’s a lot of uncertainty? What does Father say about this?“

U:       „I don’t know. He’s not there.‘

C:       „Uriel!“

U:       „Castiel?“

C:       „What does it mean he’s not there?“

U:       „Exactly that. Excuse me, Michael calls.“

With these words Uriel had disappeared and Castiel stood alone in the library.

He had to go back to Dean and share the new insights. The hunter had to know that it was a fight against Lilith.

The three hunters had barricaded themselves in Bobbie’s bunker. Castiel could still hear what they were talking about.

D:       „This is why I can’t get behind God. If he doesn’t exist, fine. Bad crap happens to good people, That‘s how it is. But if he is out there, what’s wrong with him? Where the hell is he while all theses descent people are gettin‘ torn to shreds? How does he live with himself? You know, why doesn’t he help?“

Dean shook his head. Castiel felt his desperation, but he couldn’t answer it. Bobby did not respond, saying instead:

D:       „What book from?“

B:       „Revelations. This is a sign, boys!“

D:       „A sign of what?“

B:       „The apocalypse!

There’s a spell who send the witnesses back to rest. Should work.“

The three hunters had to return to Bobbie’s house to gather the ingredients for the saying and then smash them in the fireplace. Castiel watched the three fight the angry spirits. He didn’t have to intervene. The situation was clear and easy to handle. In his thoughts.

After the ghosts had returned to their rest, the three men had a beer. Castiel had the impression that this was a kind of ritual.

After the house had returned to rest and the night had fallen, the men lay down to sleep.

Castiel watched the sleeping Dean for a moment. Even tonight, he didn’t seem to sleep relaxed. Still, his facial features were softer than during the day. And just beautiful. Castiel moaned softly. Now there was no time for it.

A quiet -woosh- could be heard. Castiel was now visible in the kitchen, leaning against the kitchenette. As always, he wore the tie loosely hanging down; the hairs were messy and the coat hung crooked on the body.

Dean woke up. He turned on his mattress and saw Castiel standing in the kitchen. He got up and slowly approached him.

C:       „Excellent job with the witnesses.“

D:       „You were hip to all this?“

C:       „I was. Uh, made aware.“

D:       „Well thanks al lot for the angelic assistance. You know, I almost got my heart ripped out of my chest!“ Dean got angry.

C:       „But you didn’t.“

Castiel remained calm. He moved very easily, barely noticeably a corner of his mouth. You might think he was smiling.

D:       „I thought angels were supposed to be guardians. Fluffy wings, halos… You know, Michael Landon. Not dicks.“

Castiel couldn’t do anything with the term ‚Michael Landon‘  and tilted his head to the side only slightly.

C:       „Read the bible. Angels are warriors. I‘m a soldier!“ he said proudly.

D:       „Yeah. Then why didn’t you fight?“

C:       „I‘m not here to perch on your shoulder. We had larger concerns.“

Castiel looked at Dean compassionately. He had to explain so much about heaven and angels. There was just no time for it.

D:       „Concerns? There were people getting torn to shreds down here. And by the way, while all this is going on, where the hell is your boss, huh, if there is a God.“

C:       „There’s a God.“

D:       „I’m not convinced.“

Castiel breathed out loudly and lowered his head.

D:       „Because if there’s a god, what the hell is he waiting for? Genocide? Monsters roaming the earth? The freakin‘ apocaplypse? At what point does he lift a damn finger and help the poor bastards stuck down here?

C:       „The Lord works…“

D:       „If you say ‚in mysterious ways‘ so help me, I will kick your ass!“

Castiel  raised both arms in despair. He gave it up and shook his head. He looked sadly aside.

Dean realized what he had said the moment he said it. He may have insulted the angel. He apologetically lowered his gaze and continued to speak.

D:       „So Bobby was right about the witnesses. Was this some kind of a sign of the apocalypse?“

C:       „That’s why we’re here. Big things afoot.“

D:       „Do I wanna know what kind of things?“

C:       „I sincerly doubt it, but you need to know. The rising of the witnesses is one of the 66 seals.“

D:       „‘kay. I’m guessin‘ that’s not a show at Seaworld.“

C:       “Those seals are being broken by Lilith“

Dean shaved sharply in the air. Castiel looked sorry. Dean nodded.

D:       „She did the spell, she rose the witnesses?“

C:       „Mm-hm. And not just here. Twenty other hunters are dead.“

D:       „Of course. She picked victims the hunters couldn’t save. So that they would barrel right after us.“

Castiel nodded.

C:       „Lilith has a certain sense of humor.“

D:       „We put those spirits back to rest.“

C:       „Doesn’t matter. The seal was broken.“

D:       „Why break the seal, anyway?“

C:       „You think of the seals as locks on a door.“

D:       „Okay. Last one opens and…?“

Castiel pushed you off the countertop and turned straight to Dean.

C:       „Lucifer walks free.“

D:       „Lucifer? I thought, Lucifer was just a story they told at demon Sunday school. There’s no such thing.“

C:       „Three days ago, you thought there was no such thing as me. Why do you think we’re here, walking among you now for the first time in 2000 years?“

D:       „To stop Lucifer?“ whispered Dean.

C:       „It‘s why we arrived.“

Castiel took a step toward Dean. He was close to him again. Dean nodded.

D:       „Well, bang-up job so far. Stellar work with the witnesses, It’s nice.“

C:       „We tried. There ars other battles. Other seals.“

Cas looked Dean deeply in the eyes. Dean was a little unsettled. He licked his dry lips.

C:       „Some we’ll win, some we’ll lose. This one we lost.“

Dean scoffs. Castiel leaned in and whispered against his cheek.

C:       „Our numbers are not unlimited. Six of my brothers died in the field this week. You think the armies of heaven should just follow you around?“

Dean swallowed.

C:       „There’s a bigger picture here!“

Dean turned his head to the side intimidated. He looked to the ground.

C:       „You shoud show me some respect! I dragged you out of hell. I can throw you back in!“

Dean blinked, Castiel was now so close to his face that he could feel his breath clearly on his cheek. He blinked.

Dean heard a short woosh–. When he looked up again, the angel was gone.

To be continued….